Growing into Christ (2)

Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you. Hebrews 13.17

Spiritual Friendship
Aelred of Rievaulx (1109-1167)
“…my friend must be the guardian of our mutual love, or even of my very soul, so that he will preserve in faithful silence all its secrets, and whatever he sees in it that is flawed he will correct or endure with all his strength. When I rejoice, he will rejoice; when I grieve, he will grieve with me; he will consider as his own everything that his friend experiences.”

Pastors and elders are called to watch over the souls of God’s people – to be their true friends in the Lord. Soul friendship is the context in which we make disciples who are growing into the Lord Jesus, who know Him as that One who sticks closer than a brother (Prov. 18.24). It takes friendship from those who care for our souls to help us grow as friends of Jesus. Yet most people in churches today feel distant from their leaders. They don’t think anybody really knows or cares about them among the leadership of the church, so they seek their friendship within small groups or Bible studies or other church activities. If the elders and pastors of our churches do not watch over the souls of God’s people, in ways such as Aelred describes, in what sense can they be said to be fulfilling their calling from the Lord?

What arrangement does your church provide to enable your pastors and elders to watch over the souls of God’s people?

Are you a soul friend?
What is the role of soul friendship in your work of making disciples? Are you cultivating an environment of mutual friendship, caring, and encouragement, or are you just running a program? Write to us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it., and we’ll send you a copy of our free brochure on Soul Friends. Make copies for yourself and all those you are discipling, then meet to discuss how your work together can become a fellowship of true friendship into the Lord.

Pastoral Hope Initiative
Pastor, where are you in your walk with and work for the Lord? Are you growing? Covering all the bases? Working fruitfully toward the Kingdom of God? Our Pastoral Hope Initiative can help you establish a framework and baseline for steady, fruitful growth into the Lord Jesus; and for the remainder of this spring, we’re waiving the fee for men who want to work through this 14-week protocol. Watch this brief video, then, if you’re interested, let me hear from you at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

The Fellowship of Ailbe is supported through the generous and faithful gifts of those who benefit from and believe in our work. Does the Lord want to use you in this way? Please look to Him in prayer over this question. You can contribute to The Fellowship of Ailbe by using the Contribute button at our website, or by sending your gift to The Fellowship of Ailbe, 19 Tyler Drive, Essex Junction, VT 05452. Thank you.

Except as indicated, Scripture taken from the New King James Version. © Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.All quotations from Aelred of Rievaulx, Spiritual Friendship, tr. By Mark F. Williams (Scranton: The University of Scranton Press, 1994, 2002).