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Enjoy Yourself

Increasing numbers of our contemporaries are practicing narcissists.

A little over 30 years ago Christopher Lasch won a Pulitzer Prize for his book, The Culture of Narcissism. His thesis was that American culture had become increasingly self-absorbed and self-centered, and his conclusion was that this was not really a good thing.

That's because narcissistic personality disorder had long been considered a condition of unstable mental health. Someone who can only think about himself, and who invariably thinks about himself in the best possible light, while expecting that everyone else should as well, and should let him know how wonderful he is - such a person has a difficult time empthasizing with others, feeling compassion, or showing sincere love. It was comforting to know back then that psychiatrists could treat this condition and, hopefully, enable narcissists to be a little more like the rest of us.

Well, those days appear to be over. The latest edition (fifth) of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (out in 2013) is dropping narcissistic personality disorder from its list of treatable conditions. Now you can enjoy yourself to the full without worrying that someone will drag you to the local shrink for a personality remake.

This seems clearly a case of "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." You don't have to look very far to see that increasing numbers of our contemporaries are practicing narcissists and seem quite OK with that. Rock stars, sports stars, pundits, politicians, preachers - everywhere you look people seem to be all about themselves and eager for you to be all about them, too. With so many practicing narcissists running around, how can we continue to think this must be a treatable condition? It's looking more and more normal.

But, of course, it's not. Especially is it not normal for Christians, who are called to look upon the needs and concerns of others as of more importance than their own needs, as Jesus despised the cross that we might be saved (Phil. 2.1-11; Heb. 12.1, 2). Sadly, some of the most narcissistic people I've ever known are Christians. They can't seem to stop talking about themselves and what they've been up to lately. Let's hope the editors of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders don't turn to the subject of sin next.

There is an opportunity here for Christians to shine like lights in the darkness, by taking seriously the call to deny themselves, become good listeners, and care more about others than themselves. The problem, in a narcissistic age such as ours, is that a good many of the people to whom we defer with love will only consider this their due. Never mind; love them, serve them, and, yes, put up with them we must.

Let us not be swayed by some panel of psychiatrists into thinking that modern science has the last word on anything. Many in the psychiatric community are not happy about this decision so, who knows, when the winds change again, narcissism may be back on the couch trying to account for its aberrant, self-absorbed ways. Only God's Word is unchanging and sure.

Additional related texts: John 13.1-15; Romans 12.3-8; 1 Corinthians 13.4-7

A conversation starter: "Modern psychiatry tells us that narcissism is a normal way of life, but do you think people who are only interested in themselves can be truly happy?"

T.M. Moore

T. M. Moore is principal of The Fellowship of Ailbe, a spiritual fellowship in the Celtic Christian tradition. He and his wife, Susie, make their home in the Champlain Valley of Vermont.
Books by T. M. Moore

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