Genesis 32:9-12 (ESV)

And Jacob said, “O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, O LORD who said to me, ‘Return to your country and to your kindred, that I may do you good,’ I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness that you have shown to your servant, for with only my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps. Please deliver me from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau, for I fear him, that he may come and attack me, the mothers with the children. But you said, ‘I will surely do you good, and make your offspring as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude.’”

Repentant at last. Repentant at last. Thank God almighty, he’s repentant at last.

Notice that it’s Jacob’s lack of faith that makes this work. If he really believed God’s promises, he wouldn’t be afraid at all. Instead, he so scared that he divides his family into two camps to ensure that there will at least be some survivors.

What Jacob does here is unimpressive. Despite incredible direct encounters with God, his faith is so weak it’s useless. He’s argumentative when he says, “But you said …” He’s manipulative in addressing God as, “O LORD who said to me, ‘Return to your country,’ ” but he says the magic word – please.

He’s on his knees this time, really on his knees. “Please deliver me.” Please, please, please. He’s totally broken. He even says, “I am not worthy.” Like the prodigal son, he has “come to himself.”

True repentance isn’t saying, “I need to grow;” it’s saying, “I need to become someone else.”

He’s ready for the great reboot of faith. Jacob is ready to become Israel.

Jacob isn’t a non-believer; he’s an immature believer. His faith is weak, but it’s not zero.

We tend to look down on Jacob. That’s a mistake. It’s easy to criticize his beginner attitudes, but are we really any better?

Pick a subject you feel pretty knowledgeable about – one that you’ve been expert in for a long time. Now think back a year or two. Did you think you were an expert then? Were you? Or have you learned even more, so that your former expertise doesn’t look so hot in retrospect?

This exercise works particularly well with theological subjects because they run infinitely deep. You never stop growing in Christ and each new year makes the previous one look small. Eventually, we get used to rediscovering that we’re still learning, and we stop thinking so highly of ourselves. We know that next year will bring new epiphanies and we simply adjust to the idea that there are things we don’t know, even in our strongest subjects. We don’t even know which things we don’t know.

True humility is an advanced goal, but all Christians should strive for it. Exercises are not the answer either; you have to pray.

Ask God to teach you humility.

The weekly study guides, which include discussion questions, are available for download here:

https://www.ailbe.org/resources/itemlist/category/91-deep-studies