John 20:26–29

And after eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, “Peace to you!” Then He said to Thomas, “Reach your finger here, and look at My hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing.”

And Thomas answered and said to Him, “My Lord and my God!”

Jesus said to him, “Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

It doesn’t appear that Thomas actually touched the wounds. John doesn’t record any touching, and Jesus supports that view when He says, “because you have seen.”

This, despite Thomas explicitly saying, “Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.”

That was a prediction, not a promise. Thomas doesn’t understand his own feelings.

No one understands his or her own feelings. That’s just human nature. Thus, the structure of Christianity includes features designed to help us deal with this inherent weakness.

One is koinonia (Christian fellowship). Friends—real friends—will see the things in us that we can’t see ourselves. And real friends will say something when something needs to be said. This is why fellowship groups are so important to a church. People need real friends.

Curiously, the secret sauce of a fellowship group can be the hanging out that isn’t studying the Bible or doing anything else “churchy.” It takes time to get people to open up. The trust that requires comes from everyone dropping their masks and just being normal. A Bible study isn’t always the best place for that.

Another great feature of Christianity is accountability partnerships. These are like fellowship groups only smaller and deeper. Accountability is generally one-on-one, though groups of three can work. “No man is an island.”

A Christian without a genuine accountability relationship is a Christian at risk. Unfortunately, most men don’t have one. You can’t just pick an accountability partner from a list or be assigned one. They generally happen by dumb luck (AKA providence). Thus, praying for God to provide you one is an essential first step.

Of course, we can’t ignore marriage here. A spouse will notice everything and usually will say something when something needs to be said. Two rules are paramount: first, don’t keep secrets. Second, react favorably to constructive criticism even if you don’t feel like acting that way.

That much of our own feelings we do understand.

These Monday—Friday DEEPs are written by Mike Slay. The Saturday DEEPs are written by Matt Richardson. To subscribe to all the DEEPs click here:

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The weekly study guides, which include the Monday–Friday devotionals plus related questions for discussion or meditation, are available for download here:

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Except as indicated, Scripture taken from the New King James Version. © Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ESV stands for the English Standard Version. © Copyright 2001 by Crossway. Used by permission. All rights reserved. NIV stands for The Holy Bible, New International Version®. © Copyright 1973 by International Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved. KJV stands for the King James Version.