Proverbs 9:7-9

7 “He who corrects a scoffer gets shame for himself,
And he who rebukes a wicked man only harms himself.

8 Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you;
Rebuke a wise man, and he will love you. 

9 Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser;
Teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.

There are four words that are sure to strike terror into your heart. 

(No, it isn’t “We’re out of bacon,” but close. Besides, that’s actually the five most terrifying words.)

You know what I am talking about. You sense a buzzing of the phone in your pocket, or notice it light up on the counter. With almost pavlovian instinct you cast your eye upon it and read a summons from the very pit of the Abyss:

“We need to talk.”

Immediately, your brain sends a burst of dopamine to your nervous system, lighting it up like a Christmas tree. Your heart rate increases, your palms become clammy, and you frantically try to determine mentally what on earth the message may be about. 

If it is your boss, you may suddenly be worried for your job.

If it is your child, you may suddenly be concerned for their assessment of your parenting skills.

If it is your spouse…well, let’s just say that you may suddenly panic that your wife has discovered that a cupcake is missing from the desert platter that she has prepared to take for Sunday fellowship.

Or any number of other very general reasons that could apply to anyone…

The bottom line is, that your brain normally heads straight to negative thoughts because this line often means that some awful revelation is coming your way–though not always. It may be that your boss wishes to talk about next quarter’s sales strategy, or that your son has been wrestling with an issue and wishes to share some comforting insight he has learned from scripture. Perhaps your wife wishes to simply discuss vacation plans for the summer.

Even if the news is uncomfortable, and some pointed criticism is heading in your direction, this is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it can be very good. It may mean that someone whom you love or with whom you have a relationship is about to lay down some truth for you to receive. For a believer in Christ–for a wise person–this is something that should be welcomed and embraced. 

Here in Proverbs chapter 9, Solomon is completing the nine-chapter prologue of the book, where he is calling his young readers–the children of Israel–to embrace wisdom. In verse 7-9 he has issued a caution about dealing with mockers and fools, but also reveals a true characteristic of the wise: the ability to receive instruction–even criticism–and use it grow in grace and righteousness.

7 “He who corrects a scoffer gets shame for himself,
And he who rebukes a wicked man only harms himself.

8 Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you;
Rebuke a wise man, and he will love you.–Proverbs 7-8

You may remember the scoffer (or mocker) as one of the fools introduced by Lady Wisdom. The scoffer or mocker has a hardness of the heart when it comes to dealing with the truth and for building relationships with others. It is a form of high pride that hates being wrong, insists on being right in the eyes of others–and cannot abide being humiliated or humbled. 

If you try to correct him, confront him with the truth, or simply offer good advice, it could backfire on you. Solomon warns that the survival instincts of the scoffing fool can quickly be turned against you. Not only does this mean possible embarrassment–it can be an exercise in futility as the mocker “raises his shields” to fend off the truth. 

In 1973, author Robert Heinlein published a science-fiction novel Time Enough for Love, in which he included the colorful phrase:

Never teach a pig to sing;
It wastes your time and annoys the pig.–Robert Heinlein

This about sums up the pointlessness you can experience when dealing with a fool well-practiced in the art of mockery. 

Commentator Bruce Walke says, “he who applies I AM’s teachings to right a wrong, gets mocked.” In some hardened cases, it may be best not to even try–or be prepared to depart once you have stated the truth, much like Paul does in the face of raucous laughter in the Areopagus (Acts 17:16-34)

So, how you as a wise person supposed to respond to the truth-even when it is difficult to hear? The answer lies in the second part of verse 8:  

Rebuke a wise man, and he will love you.–Proverbs 9:8b 

How are you to pull this off? Is not the nature of a rebuke that of a threat or confrontation? Yes, if you indeed find yourself in an argument with someone who does not have your best interest in mind. But a true rebuke will come from someone who cares:  

12 Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold
Is a wise rebuker to an obedient ear.–Proverbs 25:12

Merriam-Websters defines a rebuke as an “expression of strong disapproval.” This sounds a bit weak, does it not? The word “rebuke” evokes an image of harsh words, or even chasing off someone–or something–that means you harm. In reality, a rebuke is a thoughtful, well-founded admonishment that seeks to turn someone away from destructive behavior or thought. 

A scoffer, coming from a point of selfishness, will not benefit from it:

10 Rebuke is more effective for a wise man
Than a hundred blows on a fool.–Proverbs 17:10

You, as a lover of wisdom and a follower of Christ, the very “Wisdom of God,” will understand the blessing hidden in an accurate rebuke. 

In my career in commercial and retail finance, I am grateful for customer feedback–positive and negative. A client who takes the time to complain or explain why he or she is unhappy, is an opportunity for me to correct an error or improve my service to future customers. The client who simply closes out and account and moves to another financial institution without explanation, is an opportunity lost for future excellence.  

This then is the first thing you realize about a rebuke: it is wise to accept well-intentioned criticism. In verse 8, Bruce Waltke reveals what Solomon is telling you about the purpose of true criticism or rebuke: 

The wise aim to reorient people to the path of life and thereby form spiritual relationships with them (Amos 3:2).–Bruce Waltke, “Proverbs”

A rebuke from a fellow believer, or someone who knows and loves you, is how God strengthens or even re-establishes your relationships. A true rebuke comes from a point of love, as God states in Leviticus:

17 ‘You shall not hate your brother in your heart. You shall surely rebuke your neighbor, and not bear sin because of him.–Leviticus 19:17

The rebuking of your neighbor follows loving your brother. If you love someone, and if they love you, they will wish you to know the truth and return to the path of righteousness. 

Perhaps one reason we are not as close to others in our church family is that this will mean that they can know us–and our sins.

Even if the criticism comes not from someone who loves you, it is still constructive when you understand that ultimately it comes from your Heavenly Father. The author of Hebrews conveys this as he quotes Proverbs 3:12:    

6 “For whom the Lord loves He chastens,
And scourges every son whom He receives.”

7 If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?–Hebrews 5:6-7

This then is the second thing to understand about a rebuke: if you are wise, then you know a rebuke may be God correcting and restoring you to Him. 

Peter, after denying Jesus, met his risen Lord on the shore of Galilee. There, over a hot breakfast of fresh fish, Jesus restored Peter–but not after a pointed rebuke: “Peter, do you love me?” (John 21:15-25). 

The main problem you and I have with receiving criticism or rebuke is that we may not respect the one giving it. This allows you to make an excuse, pass the blame or not heart it in the correct light. When you realize that it is actually coming from God, this changes your whole point of view.

This leads you to the third and final way in which the wise receive a rebuke: as a matter of church discipline. 

Have you ever experienced or taken part in church discipline? Church discipline has been called one of the “true marks of the church,” but it seems it is rarely practiced in our modern evangelical world. 

How does this work? Raymond Van Leeuwen says that:

When Christians rebuke their brethren, they show they love them.  Parents who chasten their children love them.  Elders and ministers that call church members to repentance love them.–Van Leeuwen

This has precedence in the words of Jesus, as He taught His disciples:

12 “What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying? 13 And if he should find it, assuredly, I say to you, he rejoices more over that sheep than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray.–Matthew 18:12-13

Jesus then goes further to describe how to confront brothers and sisters in love in order to bring them to the fold. The Apostle Paul goes into more detail:  

6 But we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you withdraw from every brother who walks disorderly and not according to the tradition which he received from us.–II Thessalonians 3:6 

He then goes so far as to urge action after the truth in his letter is received: 

14 And if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. 15 Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.–II Thessalonians 3:14-15

Sometimes, church discipline serves to drive out those who are not truly His sheep. St. Patrick responded to a local Irish chieftain, Coroticus, who had committed an atrocity by massacring local villagers–many of whom were new converts to Christianity. 

In an angry letter of excommunication, Patrick harshly condemned Coroticus’s unchristian actions. He called him to repentance, and then denied him the sacraments. This letter was widely circulated as a warning and proclamation. 

Was this strategy successful? Our own T.M. Moore writes of this, and says that though the results are uncertain, but one thing we do know:

Patrick has his own holiday, and you never heard of Coroticus until today.–T.M. Moore

Church discipline can be unpleasant to deal with but it serves to protect the peace and purity of the Bride of Christ. You can even come to love this way of seeing God at work in your congregation. As Scottish pastor Robert Murray M’Chene writes: 

But it pleased God, who teaches his servants in another way than man teaches, to bless some of the cases of discipline to the manifest and undeniable conversion of the souls of those under our care; and from that hour a new light broke into my mind, and I saw that if preaching be an ordinance of Christ, so is church discipline.–Robert Murray M’Cheyne

When you think of all of the troubles facing the modern church, it is clear that when church officers fail to exercise the use of the “keys of the kingdom” to preserve and protect her, the church loses influence, power, and her place as a beacon of light in a sin-darkened world.

So, the next time someone says “we need to talk,” resist the urge to panic, and instead pray and ask God what He may be directing you see and understand. After all, you may be acting like a pig, but a loving, well-timed rebuke from the Lord, can lead you to sing the sweetest song. 

The Monday—Friday DEEPs are written by Mike Slay and this Saturday Deep is written by Matt Richardson. To subscribe to all the DEEPs click here:

https://www.ailbe.org/resources/community

The weekly study guides, which include the Monday–Friday devotionals plus related questions for discussion or meditation, are available for download here:

https://www.ailbe.org/resources/itemlist/category/91-deep-studies

Except as indicated, Scripture taken from the New King James Version. © Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ESV stands for the English Standard Version. © Copyright 2001 by Crossway. Used by permission. All rights reserved. NIV stands for The Holy Bible, New International Version®. © Copyright 1973 by International Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved. KJV stands for the King James Version.