If you are a spiritual director, do not barter his soul; be not as the blind leading the blind; do not leave him in neglect.
– The Rule of Carthage, Irish, 7th century[1]
For this reason, when I could no longer endure it, I sent to know your faith, lest by some means the tempter had tempted you, and our labor might be in vain.
– 1 Thessalonians 3.5
We hear this a lot from Paul, this agonizing over the spiritual wellbeing of the churches under his care. Paul ached for the people he loved. He longed for them to grow in the Lord, overcoming the lusts of the flesh and laboring to advance the rule of Christ in their world. He appreciated pastors like Philemon and Titus who were able to refresh the souls of people in their care.
Paul understood that each of us needs someone watching over our soul with us, to pray, provide insight and suggestions, exercise accountability, and offer encouragement and support as we press on in our calling to know, love, and serve the Lord Jesus.
Who’s watching over your soul like this? And over whose soul has the Lord set you as a shepherd?
Paul sought to be a soul friend to the churches in his care. His many letters and visits were the best way he could continue to look out for the spiritual interests of those people, but he also expected the elders and pastors of those churches to help each member grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord.
I don’t sense much of this kind of concern among Christians today. We’re more interested in running programs than in shepherding the flock. We enjoy our friends for companionship and good times, but we rarely think about the state of their soul.
The problem traces back to a lack of shepherding on the part of pastors, elders, and other church leaders. “Shepherding” defines that raft of disciplines Jesus practiced and taught, and which He intended pastors and elders to employ in watching over the souls of God’s people (Heb. 13.17). And all the rest of His people as well, because shepherding one another is what the Holy Spirit for each of us, as He transforms us into the likeness of Jesus.
Nevertheless, we can take steps to see to it that our soul is receiving helpful care and oversight, and that we are providing this for others, by finding a soul friend.
Your spouse is God’s soul-friend-gift to you. Husbands and wives are the starting-point and foothold for any other soul friendships we might have, men with men and women with women. They should build one another up in the Lord by encouraging them in prayer, Scripture reading and meditation, and their daily work for the Lord. A strong soul-friend relationship with your spouse will equip you to be an effective soul friend to others.
Soul friends care about our soul. They pray for us and seek us out to know how we’re doing. A soul friend takes a sincere interest in our growth in the Lord and helps us think about ways of making progress in the faith. They pray with us, encourage us in our walk with and work for the Lord, and rejoice in our prayers and encouragement in return.
Most importantly, soul friends keep growing in the Lord, because they know they’re of no spiritual good to anyone else if they’re not advancing in their daily walk.
Who cares about your soul? Whose soul has been entrusted to your prayerful oversight and concern? In a day when most pastors describe their churches as “shallow”, we need some seriously spiritual people to befriend the souls of others, so that the life of the Spirit can return to the churches with power.
If you don’t have a soul friend, or aren’t a soul friend to someone else, there’s no better time to get started than today. Start in your marriage, then grow from there to make the work of caring for and strengthening the souls of others a primary aspect of your Personal Mission Field.
For Reflection
1. What can you do to build a strong soul friend relationship with your spouse?
2. What do you need in a soul friend to help you continue growing in the Lord?
Psalm 62.1, 2 (Germany: Jesus, They Blood and Righteousness)
My soul in silence waits, O LORD, safely I stand within Your Word!
You are my Rock, my Stronghold true, and my Salvation, Lord, are You!
Give thanks
If you have found this meditation helpful, take a moment and give thanks to God. Then share what you learned with a friend. This is how the grace of God spreads (2 Cor. 4.15).
You can be an encourager!
Soul friends encourage one another. But how? And to what end? Our ReVision series, “Encouragement,” can help you be more consistent in building up others in the Lord. You can download the individual installments in the series by clicking here.
Thank you.
Many of you are faithful and generous in praying for and supporting Crosfigell and The Fellowship of Ailbe. Thank you. May I encourage all our readers to seek the Lord about becoming a supporter of The Fellowship of Ailbe? It’s easy to give to The Fellowship of Ailbe, and all gifts are, of course, tax-deductible. You can click here to donate online through credit card or PayPal or Anedot, or send your gift to The Fellowship of Ailbe, P. O. Box 8213, Essex, VT 05451.
T. M. Moore
All Psalms for singing from The Ailbe Psalter. Scripture taken from the New King James Version. © Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
[1] Ó Maidín, p. 65.
