You can be successful by the world’s standards and utterly fail at what matters most. You can climb the ladder, accumulate wealth, achieve recognition, and still miss the mark of genuine manhood. Because biblical masculinity isn’t measured by what you accomplish but by who you’re becoming.
This isn’t a word for pastors only. It’s not a challenge for the spiritually elite or a message reserved for ministry leaders. This is for every Christian man, whether you’re just beginning to follow Christ or you’ve walked with him for decades. Whether you’re a mechanic or a manager, a single man in your twenties or a grandfather in your seventies, whether you feel like you’re crushing it spiritually or barely holding on. If you call yourself a Christian and you’re a man, this is for you.
The question before us is simple but profound: What does it mean to be a godly man?
Not successful. Not impressive. Not powerful or wealthy or respected by the world’s standards. But godly. A man after God’s own heart. A man being formed into the image of Christ. A man whose character reflects the fruit of the Spirit more than the achievements listed on a resume.
This matters because somewhere along the way, many of us bought into a vision of masculinity that the Bible doesn’t recognize. We measure manhood by competence in our field, by our ability to provide and protect, by strength and control and independence. These aren’t all bad things. But they’re not the heart of what Scripture calls us to. And when we get the definition wrong, we spend our lives building the wrong thing.
What the Bible Actually Says
Let’s start where we must: with Scripture. What does God’s Word say about what makes a man godly?
In 1 Timothy 4:7-8, Paul writes to young Timothy: “Train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” Notice what Paul emphasizes. Physical training has some value. Competence, skill, achievement, these have their place. But godliness is of value in every way. It’s what matters now and what will matter eternally.
The prophet Micah gives us one of the clearest summaries in all of Scripture: “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8). This is what God requires. Not perfection. Not extraordinary spiritual gifts. Not leadership positions in the church. But justice, kindness, and humility before him. Character. Heart. The kind of man you are when no one’s watching.
When Paul lists the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23, he’s describing what the Holy Spirit produces in every believer: man or woman, pastor or plumber. “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” These aren’t optional extras for super-spiritual Christians. This is normal Christianity. This is what you and I are called to become by God’s grace.
And when Jesus taught the Beatitudes in Matthew 5, he painted a picture of the Kingdom citizen that runs completely counter to worldly masculinity. Blessed are the poor in spirit. The meek. Those who hunger for righteousness. The merciful. The pure in heart. The peacemakers. This is what greatness looks like in God’s Kingdom.
Two Voices from Church History
Two men from different centuries understood this deeply and lived it out in remarkable ways: Richard Baxter and John Wesley. Neither was perfect. But both pursued godly character with a seriousness that challenges us centuries later.
Baxter: “Take Heed to Yourselves”
Richard Baxter was a 17th-century English pastor who shepherded the congregation in Kidderminster for seventeen years. He’s best known for his book The Reformed Pastor, written primarily for ministers but applicable to every Christian man who wants to take his spiritual life seriously.
Baxter’s repeated refrain was: “Take heed to yourselves.” He was quoting Acts 20:28, where Paul charged the Ephesian elders to watch over themselves before watching over the flock. But Baxter applied this more broadly. Before you can lead your family well, take heed to yourself. Before you can be a faithful witness at work, take heed to yourself. Before you can serve in the church, take heed to yourself.
What did he mean? Ruthless self-examination before God. He wrote, “Take heed to yourselves, lest you be void of that saving grace of God which you offer to others, and be strangers to the effectual working of that gospel which you preach.” That was written to pastors, but the principle applies to every man: don’t be a hypocrite. Don’t talk about faith you don’t possess. Don’t present an image publicly that doesn’t match the reality of your private life.
Baxter believed that character formation begins with looking honestly at the state of your own soul. Are you genuinely converted? Have you truly been born again, or are you just going through religious motions? What are your secret sins, your hidden compromises, your unconfessed failures? This isn’t morbid introspection. It’s spiritual honesty before the all-seeing eyes of God.
In his massive work A Christian Directory, Baxter wrote about what he called “the whole duty of man.” He addressed how Christians should live in every sphere: personal devotion, family life, church community, and civic responsibility. But underlying all of it was one fundamental requirement: personal holiness. “Live wholly to God,” he wrote, “let every action aim at his glory.”
A godly man, in Baxter’s vision, is not measured by competence in his field but by conformity to Christ’s character. You can be the best carpenter, teacher, or businessman in your city and still be a spiritual disaster if you neglect the state of your own soul.
Wesley: Holiness of Heart and Life
John Wesley, the 18th-century founder of Methodism, had a similar vision but expressed it differently. Wesley’s driving passion was what he called “scriptural holiness,” holiness of both heart and life, inward transformation that necessarily expresses itself outwardly.
Wesley wasn’t content with external religion. He’d seen too much of that in the Church of England of his day, people who attended services, said their prayers, and lived utterly unchanged lives. He wanted something deeper: a genuine work of God’s Spirit that renovated the human heart and produced visible fruit.
That’s why Wesley created what he called “band meetings,” small groups of three to five men who would meet weekly for intense accountability. These weren’t casual coffee conversations. These were spiritual battlegrounds where men asked each other penetrating questions:
- What known sins have you committed since our last meeting?
- What temptations have you met with?
- How were you delivered?
- What have you thought, said, or done, of which you doubt whether it be sin or not?
This wasn’t judgment. This was iron sharpening iron. Wesley believed that Christian men could not grow in holiness apart from honest, vulnerable accountability. Character is formed in community, not isolation.
Wesley’s own life embodied this commitment to disciplined godliness. He rose at 4 AM every morning for prayer. He maintained systematic Scripture reading. He engaged in intentional community. He held himself accountable to the very standards he called others to. Despite an exhausting schedule of itinerant preaching, riding thousands of miles on horseback, preaching multiple times daily, he never neglected his own soul.
Charles Wesley, John’s brother and the great hymn writer of the Methodist movement, captured this longing in one of his most beloved hymns:
O for a heart to praise my God,
A heart from sin set free,
A heart that always feels thy blood
So freely shed for me.
This is the cry of every godly man: not perfection, but transformation. Not self-sufficiency, but dependence on God’s grace. A heart set free from sin’s dominion and filled with love for Christ.
What This Means for You
So what does godly character actually look like in 2025? How does this ancient wisdom apply to your life, whether you’re working in an office, raising kids, serving your church, or just trying to survive another week?
Character Is Who You Are When No One’s Watching
The world cares about your reputation, what people think of you. God cares about your character, who you actually are. Reputation is image. Character is reality.
A godly man is the same person in private that he is in public. He doesn’t have a work persona, a church persona, and a secret persona. He’s integrated. What he professes with his mouth matches what he does with his life. His private devotion informs his public witness.
This doesn’t mean perfection. None of us are the same person all the time; we all stumble, compromise, and fail. But there’s a difference between occasional failure and a double life. A godly man, when he falls, confesses it, seeks forgiveness, and gets back up. He doesn’t hide. He doesn’t maintain the image while rotting inside.
Character Is Formed in Community, Not Isolation
Modern men are isolated. We work in cubicles or alone in trucks. We live in separate houses. We consume entertainment on individual screens. Even at church, we maintain surface-level friendships, “How are you?” “Fine.” while hiding our real struggles.
This isolation is killing us spiritually. Baxter knew his flock personally. Wesley created structures where men couldn’t hide. Both understood what Scripture teaches repeatedly: we need each other. “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed” (James 5:16).
You can’t become a godly man alone. You need brothers who know your struggles, ask you hard questions, and won’t let you drift. Not someday. Now. This week. This isn’t optional for spiritual growth.
Character Requires Both Grace and Discipline
Here’s where we must be careful. We’re not talking about self-improvement through willpower. Godly character isn’t achieved by trying harder, making resolutions, or white-knuckling your way through temptation. That’s moralism, not Christianity.
Paul is clear: “Train yourself for godliness.” There’s effort involved. Discipline. Intentionality. But notice what produces the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5; it’s the Spirit, not your striving. God does the transforming work. Your responsibility is to position yourself where his grace can reach you: Scripture, prayer, fellowship, worship, confession, accountability.
Think of it like a garden. You don’t make plants grow. God makes plants grow. But you do plant seeds, water them, pull weeds, and create conditions where growth can happen. That’s what spiritual disciplines do. They don’t save you or make you holy by themselves. But they put you in the path of God’s transforming grace.
Character Grows Over a Lifetime
One more crucial truth: becoming a godly man isn’t a weekend seminar or a six-week study. It’s a long obedience in the same direction. It’s daily faithfulness. Small steps. Consistent choices. Year after year after year.
Baxter wrote 168 books despite chronic illness and pain. Wesley preached until he was 87. They both understood that godly character is built slowly, through decades of walking with God. Some days you’ll feel close to him. Many days you won’t. But you keep showing up. You keep praying. You keep confessing. You keep pursuing holiness. Not because you’re extraordinary, but because you’re ordinary men depending on an extraordinary God.
The Character You’re Being Called To
Let me be specific. What are the marks of a godly man that Scripture emphasizes and Baxter and Wesley embodied?
- Submitted to Christ before leading anyone else. Jesus is your Lord. You don’t get to pick and choose which parts of his teaching to follow. Godly men submit their will, their plans, their ambitions to him. This is the foundation of everything.
- Growing in holiness, not stagnant. You’re not the same man you were five years ago. There’s fruit. Maybe slow fruit, maybe hidden fruit, but real growth in love, patience, self-control, integrity. If there’s no growth, there may not be genuine spiritual life.
- Accountable to brothers who know your struggles. You have men in your life who ask you hard questions and tell you hard truths. You don’t hide your failures or maintain an image. You confess, receive grace, and fight together.
- Humble enough to admit weakness and seek help. Pride kills spiritual growth. Godly men know they’re dependent on God’s grace and need help from others. They say, “I’m struggling” and “I was wrong” and “Please pray for me.”
- Faithful in the mundane. You’re reliable in small things. You keep your word. You show up when you said you would. You’re honest in details no one checks. You’re the same man at home, at work, at church, online. This quiet consistency matters more than dramatic one-time acts of service or faith.
Key Principle
Godly character is who you are becoming as Christ transforms you by his grace, displayed in how you think, speak, act, and relate to others across every sphere of life.
This isn’t about being impressive. It’s about being faithful. It’s not about perfection. It’s about direction. Are you moving toward Christlikeness, however slowly? Are you allowing God’s Spirit to work in you? Are you positioning yourself where his grace can reach you?
Every Christian man, not just pastors, not just leaders, not the spiritually elite, is called to this. It’s normal Christianity. It’s what Jesus produces in everyone who truly follows him.
Reflect
Take a few minutes with these questions. Better yet, discuss them with your accountability group or a trusted brother.
- Head (Understanding): What vision of masculinity have I been pursuing: cultural, biblical, or some mixture? When I compare my life to the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) and the Beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-12), what does that reveal about what I’m actually becoming?
- Heart (Examination): When I examine my character honestly before God, where do I see growth and where do I see areas that need his transforming work? Am I more concerned with appearing successful or actually becoming holy? What does my private life reveal about who I really am?
- Hands (Application): What is one specific character quality, from Galatians 5:22-23 or elsewhere in Scripture, that I need to cultivate this month? What practical step will I take this week to pursue growth in that area?
This Week
Set aside 30 minutes this weekend for honest self-examination. Don’t rush this. Get alone with God, bring your Bible, and use Paul’s fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) as your rubric:
- Love
- Joy
- Peace
- Patience
- Kindness
- Goodness
- Faithfulness
- Gentleness
- Self-control
For each one, honestly assess yourself (1-10 scale if that helps). Where are you strongest? Where are you weakest? Don’t just acknowledge your weak areas, confess them to God. Ask for his grace to grow. Then identify one specific way you’ll practice that character quality this week.
For instance, if patience is your weakest area, what’s one situation this week where you’ll intentionally practice patience? With your kids? With a difficult coworker? In traffic? Be specific.
Write it down. Pray about it. Then actually do it.
This Month
Don’t try to grow alone. Following Wesley’s model, identify 2-4 other Christian men who will commit to meeting regularly, weekly or bi-weekly, for honest accountability.
Don’t settle for superficial “how’s it going?” friendship. You need brothers who will ask you hard questions about your walk with Christ, your hidden struggles, your growth areas. Men who know what you’re facing and pray for you by name.
Here’s how to start:
1. Identify the men. Think of 2-4 Christian men you respect, men who genuinely want to grow in Christ. They don’t have to be your best friends. They need to be faithful.
2. Reach out personally. Don’t group text this. Call or meet with each one individually and say something like: “I’ve been thinking about the lack of real accountability in my life as a Christian man. I don’t want to drift spiritually, and I don’t want to hide my struggles anymore. Would you be interested in meeting regularly with a few other guys for honest conversation about our walks with Christ? Real questions, real answers, real support?”
3. If they say yes, schedule the first meeting within two weeks. Strike while the iron is hot. Don’t let it die in the “we should do that sometime” graveyard.
4. At your first meeting, establish the covenant:
- How often will we meet? (Weekly is ideal; bi-weekly minimum)
- Where? (Someone’s home, coffee shop, church, anywhere you can talk honestly)
- How long? (60-90 minutes)
- What questions will we ask each other? (Use Wesley’s or create your own)
- What are our confidentiality standards? (What’s shared here stays here)
- How do we handle missed meetings or someone drifting?
- What’s our commitment timeline? (Start with 3 months, then reassess)
Wesley’s Band Questions (Adapted for Today):
- What known sins have you committed since we last met?
- What temptations have you faced? How did you respond?
- Where did you experience God’s grace and deliverance this week?
- What thoughts, words, or actions are you unsure about, things you wonder if they’re sin?
- Is there anything you’re holding back from sharing with us?
This level of accountability feels uncomfortable. That’s the point. We hide because we’re ashamed. But James says confession brings healing. Proverbs says iron sharpens iron through friction. You need this. We all do.
You Weren’t Made to Drift
You weren’t made to drift through life, accumulating achievements while your soul withers. You weren’t made to maintain an image while hiding who you really are. You weren’t made to go it alone, pretending you have it all together.
You were made for something far greater: to be conformed to the image of Christ, to bear his likeness in a watching world, to live with such integrity that others see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven.
This is the making of a godly man. Not overnight. Not through a program. Not by your own effort or willpower. But through a lifetime of faithful, disciplined, grace-sustained pursuit of Christlike character.
Baxter and Wesley weren’t perfect men. But they were faithful men. They took heed to themselves. They pursued holiness. They lived under Christ’s lordship in every sphere. And their lives still bear fruit centuries later because they built on the rock of character rather than the sand of reputation.
That’s the invitation before you. Not to become a spiritual superhero. Not to achieve some elite level of Christianity. But to become the man God created you to be, formed in Christ’s image, bearing his fruit, faithful in all things.
Will you pursue it?
Closing Prayer
Almighty God, you have called me to be your son, bought by the blood of Christ, indwelt by your Spirit. Forgive me for the times I’ve pursued worldly success over godly character, appearance over reality, competence over holiness.
Search me, know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Make me a man after your own heart, faithful in small things before great things, humble in strength, courageous in obedience.
Form in me the character of Christ. Not by my effort but by your grace. Not overnight but through long obedience. Not for my glory but for yours. Give me brothers to walk with, accountability to keep me honest, and your Spirit to transform me from the inside out.
I can’t do this alone. I won’t do this alone. Help me, Father. Make me a godly man. Through Jesus Christ my Lord, Amen.
Remember…
Christianity is practical because Christianity is true.
Christianity is practical because Christianity works.
Christianity is practical because Christianity was meant to be put into practice.
Soli Deo Gloria
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