Ephesians 5.22-33 (1)
Pray Psalm 45.6-8.
Your throne, O God, is forever and ever;
A scepter of righteousness is the scepter of Your kingdom.
You love righteousness and hate wickedness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You
With the oil of gladness more than Your companions.
All Your garments are scented with myrrh and aloes and cassia,
Out of the ivory palaces, by which they have made You glad.
Sing Psalm 45.6-8.
(Manoah: When All Your Mercies, O My God)
Your throne, O God, is evermore, and upright is Your reign;
though wicked men Your Name abhor, Your righteousness must gain.
Your God has thus anointed You with oil of gladness great.
Your robes are rich with sweet perfume; sweet music gilds Your gate.
Read Ephesians 5.22-33; meditate on verse 33.
Mediate on “love” and “respect”.
Preparation
1. What must husbands (“each one”) do?
2. What must wives do?
Meditation
This passage can cause some readers to wince. Submit? Fear? Love? Is this how we should think of marriage and family life? Our contemporary generation shrugs off such ideas. And marriage right along with them. But we inhabit a different economy, and it is incumbent upon us to obey the Lord’s instructions and learn through obedience the joy and peace He can give.
So, husbands, let’s start—or finish, wrap it all up—with you: Love your wife as you love yourself. Your wife is your closest neighbor, and everything that pertains to loving your neighbor pertains to loving your wife. And even more so, since you and she together are one flesh and members of the Body of Christ. Husbands, you provide the fuel for your marriage, the fuel of love. Be sure to seek the Lord each day to keep the tank full. No exceptions. No qualifications or conditions. Just love her. Like Jesus.
Wives, you’re next: Fear your husband. Yes, that’s the verb, “fear”. It’s the same verb Paul used in verse 21, “the fear of Christ.” Do you have any problems fearing Jesus? Of course not. You know how much He loves you. But what about fearing your husband in the sense of deferring to his decisions, honoring him in various ways, and only speaking of or to him with appreciation and for edification? That’s tougher because, well, we know how most husbands are—hard-headed, inattentive, sullen, unemotional. Yeah, but if we can learn to love our wives as Jesus loved the Church, then we won’t be that way so much, and wives won’t have to resent or scorn or ignore or belittle us. They will submit gladly, and this will only increase the husband’s love for his wife.
Like Paul said in verse 32, “This is a great mystery”.
Treasure Old and New: Matthew 13.52; Psalm 119.162
So mysterious in fact, that to shed some light on it, I will share my mother’s “Latin” translation of this verse:
Sub means under, and mitt means glove, so a wife is to be underhanded with her husband. (My mom had a great sense of humor).
But in all seriousness, when one looks at the commandments that come from the loving hand of our Father in heaven, He always speaks into our greatest weaknesses. The Bible is not full of commands like: make sure you vent all your anger and frustrations on whoever deserves it; be sure and eat all the desserts that come your way; always give way to your lusts; and be sure to make as much money as you possibly can and then spend it all on yourself!
No, God teaches that our tendencies to sin must be curbed, restrained, and turned in a new direction (Ex. 20.1-17).
Fearing and submitting to another person are contrary to our sinful human nature; thus, women must be told to do so. Let’s just say, it isn’t our strong suit. But in any situation, for things to run smoothly, someone needs to be in charge, and the buck needs to stop somewhere—so the husband gets that responsibility, and the wife needs to submit to it. Gladly.
On the other hand, to love another tenderly, and without self-absorption, is a monumental calling and perhaps just a tad more difficult for a man to pull off than a woman. So, God speaks into that contrariness as well—the man then having to do that. Gladly.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Eph. 5.22).
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church” (Eph. 5.25).
Husbands and wives, Wisdom tells us:
“If you
receive My words, and
treasure My commands within you, so that you
incline your ear to Wisdom, and
apply your heart to understanding; yes, if you
cry out for discernment, and
lift up your voice for understanding, if you
seek her as silver, and
search for her as for hidden treasures;
then you will
understand the fear of the LORD, and
find the knowledge of God…
When Wisdom
enters your heart, and
knowledge is pleasant to your soul,
discretion will preserve you;
understanding will keep you, to
deliver you from the way of evil…” (Prov. 2.1-5; 10-12).
With God at the center of both hearts, fear, submission, and love are truly possible.
“With [men and women] this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matt. 19.26).
No underhandedness allowed.
Reflection
1. How can a husband make it a blessing for his wife to submit to him?
2. How can a wife help her husband to love her?
3. How can keeping their eyes on Jesus help husbands and wives to fulfill their callings?
Husbands are required to love their wives, and wives to fear (φοβη̃ται) their husbands, understanding by fear that reverence which will lead them to be submissive. John Calvin (1509-1564), Commentary on Ephesians 5.33
Pray Psalm 45 10-17.
Pray that the Lord will beautify you with the beauty of Jesus, that He will give you gladness in His Presence and joy in serving Him, and that you will leave a little of your legacy of grace with each person you meet this week.
Sing Psalm 45.10-17.
(Manoah: When All Your Mercies, O My God)
Let none keep us from hearing You; desire our beauty, LORD!
We bow, submitting humbly to Your ever-faithful Word.
The Church in robes of woven gold assembles to the King.
With joy complete and gladness bold His praise she e’er shall sing.
When we at last Your palace gain, and others take our place,
then let our children with You reign, a legacy of grace!
T. M. and Susie Moore
If you have found this meditation helpful, take a moment to give thanks to God. Then share what you learned with a friend. This is how the grace of God spreads (2 Cor. 4.15).
Other columns of interest: In our ReVision series on “The Kingdom Economy” we are looking at the role of culture in the Kingdom economy. Our Read Moore podcast is working through The Gospel of the Kingdom to learn what the Kingdom is and what it means. In our Crosfigell teaching letter, we begin a brief overview of the life and work of Coemgen.Check out our other excellent writers. Click here to see all the other columns and writers available to you.
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Except as indicated, all Scriptures are taken from the New King James Version. © Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. For sources of all quotations, see the weekly PDF of this study. All psalms for singing are from The Ailbe Psalter.
