Ephesians 5.22-33 (3)
Pray Psalm 123.1, 2.
Unto You I lift up my eyes,
O You who dwell in the heavens.
Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their masters,
As the eyes of a maid to the hand of her mistress,
So our eyes look to the LORD our God,
Until He has mercy on us.
Sing Psalm 123.1, 2.
(Darwall: Rejoice, the Lord is King)
To You we lift our eyes, O God enthroned above!
With longing gaze and heaving sighs we plead Your love!
Refrain v. 2
We look to You! Have mercy, LORD,
upon us by Your sovereign Word.
As servants strain to see their earthly lord’s command,
So we would in Your Presence be and firmly stand!
Refrain
Read Ephesians 5.22-33; meditate on verses 25-27.
What does this suggest about ways a husband should show love?
Preparation
1. With what does Paul charge husbands?
2. What standard is to guide them?
Meditation
OK, well, that seems pretty clear: Love your wife as Christ loved the Church. Note the past tense, “loved”, not “loves”. It’s harder to see Christ’s ongoing love for His Church, although we know He loves her dearly. It’s easier to see how He loved the Church when He emptied Himself and took on the form of a servant, obeyed all the commands and precepts of God’s Law, drew His Church to Him by instruction and example, shepherded and cared for her in a myriad of ways, laid down His life for her, and then rose from the dead to secure them to Himself.
We can see that love, and it is full of examples to guide husbands in the daily calling to love their wives. A couple of goals are in view here. First, her sanctification. Husband, is your wife growing in the Lord? Knowing more of His Presence and pleasure? Gladly and joyfully taking up her daily work in His Name? Growing deeper into Him through His Word and prayer? These are the evidence and the essentials of her sanctification, and husbands must be a primary mover and example for their wives in this matter.
With a view to “showing off” your wife before the Lord—pure, holy, spotless, glorious. Husband, as you retire at night, recall your wife’s day, and boast about her to the Lord, giving thanks for her sanctification, work, and faithful submission to your love. A husband’s primary work, no matter his calling, is to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. And what a joy and blessing it is to work at this high privilege every day.
Treasure Old and New: Matthew 13.52; Psalm 119.16
Jesus’ love for the Church is complete, full, overwhelming, unsurpassed, without limit, and astonishing.
Every human being who receives the Gift of salvation feels that love—it is meant to be experienced.
And through experience we find the desire to obey, submit to, and love this One Who loves us so.
For a wife to be loved like this is extraordinary. To be loved somewhat like that is still amazing. To be loved as a vague imitation of His love would be astonishing. To be loved akin to this—appreciated.
And yes, the husband’s calling is to help his wife on her road to sanctification.
But even if the husband can’t help; he should never hinder her growth in becoming Christlike.
In the same way that he, as a father, is commanded “do not provoke your children to wrath” (Eph. 6.4), that same courtesy towards his wife is also necessary.
For truly, both husbands and wives are told to “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God Who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure” (Phil. 2.12, 13).
None of us is off the hook for the work of sanctification in our own lives. Even if our spouse is a total loser when it comes to spirituality, that is no excuse for why we did not grow in the Lord. We all have the Word of God at our fingertips. We can all read, study, meditate in, and pray over His Words daily. We all have access to the Gift of being filled with the Holy Spirit. “For He Whom God has sent speaks the words of God, for God does not give the Spirit by measure” (Jn. 3.34). There are no gender, race, or age qualifications to be a recipient of His Holy Spirit.
“For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of [themselves] more highly than [they] ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith” (Rom. 12.3).
But for a sweet moment, and thought, imagine that all marriages—in Christ Jesus—looked like the one described here in Ephesians. The husband loving his wife as Christ loved the church: for whom He lived, suffered, died, and rose again. And the wife lovingly respecting and submitting to her own husband.
What a testimony to the watching world that marriage would be!
What an encouragement for others to want to know the One these marriages were following!
What a speech without words these lives would be proclaiming!
“Now it shall come to pass in the latter days that the mountain of the LORD’s house shall be established
on the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted above the hills; and
all nations shall flow to it.
Many people shall come and say,
‘Come, and let us go up to the mountain of the LORD,
to the house of the God of Jacob;
He will teach us His ways, and
we shall walk in His paths” (Is. 2.2, 3).
“Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised in the city of our God,
in His holy mountain. Beautiful in elevation,
the joy of the whole earth” (Ps. 48.1, 2).
A loving—Christ-filled and Christ-imitated home—will draw others to Christ.
And His Church will be seen as the joy of the whole earth.
There is power in love done God’s way.
Reflection
1. In what ways do aspects of our culture work to undermine the Biblical view of order in the home?
2. What are the best ways to resist that undermining?
3. What is a wife’s role in contributing to her husband’s sanctification?
The duty of husbands is to love their wives. The love of Christ to the church is an example, which is sincere, pure, and constant, notwithstanding her failures… All the duties of marriage are included in unity and love. Matthew Henry (1662-1714), Commentary on Ephesians 5.25-27
Pray Psalm 123.2-4.
Pray for grace, that you might overflow with love today, especially for your spouse, but also for the people you will encounter as you are going about your work for the Lord today.
Sing Psalm 143.2-4.
(Darwall: Rejoice, the Lord Is King)
Have mercy, LORD, we pray; our souls are weary, worn.
The wicked world condemns our way and heaps up scorn.
Refrain v. 2
We look to You! Have mercy, LORD,
upon us by Your sovereign Word.
Our souls are sore oppressed by this world’s ease and pride.
In You we would be healed and blessed, and in You hide.Refrain
T. M. and Susie Moore
If you have found this meditation helpful, take a moment to give thanks to God. Then share what you learned with a friend. This is how the grace of God spreads (2 Cor. 4.15).
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Except as indicated, all Scriptures are taken from the New King James Version. © Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. For sources of all quotations, see the weekly PDF of this study. All psalms for singing are from The Ailbe Psalter.
