Marriage and Divorce

Matthew 19: Kingdom Counsel (1)

Pray Psalm 22.23.
You who fear the LORD, praise Him!
All you descendants of Jacob, glorify Him,
And fear Him, all you offspring of Israel!

Sing Psalm 22.23.
Darwall: Rejoice, the Lord is King
All you who fear the LORD, now praise His holy Name!
You children of His glorious Word, declare His fame!
We stand in awe of our eternal God, and on His mercy call.

Read Matthew 19.1-10; meditate on verses 4-6.
How can we preserve oneness in our marriage?

Prepare.
1. Why did Moses allow people to sue for divorce?

2. What reason did Jesus provide for lawfully seeking a divorce?

Meditate.
From Galilee, Jesus moved to the region east of the Jordan River to continue His ministry (v. 1). As usual, “great multitudes followed Him.” And, as usual, “He healed them” (v. 2). 

How mean and hard-hearted were these Pharisees! Instead of seeing all the good Jesus was doing, all they could do was try to trip Him up on some detail of legal tradition. It’s instructive, I think, to see how cool Jesus was in the face of what He knew were attempts to embarrass Him. Note the form of their question (v. 3): “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” That is, can a man divorce his wife just because he wants to? 

Jesus reminded the Pharisees that, from the beginning, God intended marriage as a permanent institution, the foundational institution of all human society and culture. When a man and woman are joined together under God, they need to work hard to make their marriage the joyous union God intends. He wants marriages to be strong, resilient, and fruitful. He did not intend for difficulties, shortcomings, irritations, and the like to be grounds for ending a marriage (vv. 4-6). So the Pharisees throw down their trump card: “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” (v. 7) You can hear them saying under their breath, “Gotcha!”

Jesus calmly explained that God, in giving the Law through Moses, took into consideration the ruinous effects of sin, even as these appeared in a marriage (v. 8). Hard-hearted people, who will not repent of their sins, must not be allowed to foist their wickedness on a spouse. If a marriage partner, through recalcitrance, is unwilling to repent of sin against the spouse, a divorce can be granted, to free the innocent party from ongoing abuse. The Law that binds couples together before God, looses any abused parties from the ongoing sinfulness of an unrepentant partner.

The disciples—not surprisingly—leapt to the worst-case scenario, and posited a consequence of Jesus’ teaching that is as absurd as it is wrong (v. 10). Jesus was not saying this; indeed, quite the opposite: that people should marry in the Lord, and work hard to make their marriage the blessing God intends.

Treasure Old and New: Matthew 13.52; Psalm 119.162
“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth” (Gen. 1.1).
“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; 
male and female He created them” (Gen. 1.27).
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 
and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2.24).
“I AM the LORD your God…
you shall have no other gods before Me…
you shall not make for yourself a carved image…
you shall not take the Name of the LORD your God in vain…
remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy…
you shall not commit adultery” (Ex. 20.1-8, 14).

All very clear to the thinking mind.
No equivocations.
Just the facts.
Plain and simple.

“Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”
“If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry” (Matt. 19.3, 10).

Huh?

Why must people throw dust in the air?
Why do folks amuse themselves by trying to outsmart God?
Why are they driven to skirt the parameters of God’s Word and Law?
Whom are they trying to impress?
What are they thinking?
Where is all this balderdash leading?

But wait. Do we ever do that?
“Look, I know You said such and such, Lord, but I’d prefer to do it my way.”
“I know this is Your Law, Lord, but I think I know better how to live my life.”
“And what about grace? You won’t mind if I do this or that to please myself just this once; 
besides You’ll forgive me, right?”
Masters of equivocation, we become, when our hearts are not set aright 
to follow Him to the end (Ps. 119.112).

“Because of the hardness of your hearts” you think and do such things (Matt. 19.8).

“The LORD is in His holy temple, the LORD’s throne in in heaven;
His eyes behold, His eyelids test the sons of men. The LORD tests the righteous…” (Ps. 11.4, 5).
“But the LORD is in His holy temple, let all the earth keep silence before Him” (Hab. 2.20).

“Give to the LORD, O families of the peoples,
Give to the LORD glory and strength.
Give to the LORD the glory due His Name;
bring an offering, and come before Him.
Oh, worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness!
Tremble before Him, all the earth” (1 Chron. 16.28-30).

“LORD, I hope for Your salvation, and I do Your commandments” (Ps. 119.166).
Truly, truly, pure and simple obedience protects hearts from becoming hard.

Reflect.
1. How can we know if our hearts are becoming hardened to God and His Word?

2. What are the keys to keeping a marriage from drifting toward divorce?

3. What can churches do to strengthen marriages?

When the gospel is really embraced, it makes men kind relatives and faithful friends; it teaches them to bear the burdens, and to bear with the infirmities of those with whom they are connected, to consider their peace and happiness more than their own. Matthew Henry (1662-1714), Commentary on Matthew 19.1-10

Pray Psalm 22.24-28.
Praise the Lord for the great love He has shown us in Jesus. Ask Him for an opportunity to share His love with someone today.

Sing Psalm 22.24-28.
Darwall: Rejoice, the Lord is King
For He has not despised the anguish of our King,
nor from Him hid His eyes, Who knew such suffering.
Let praise arise from all who love and serve the Ruler of the skies!

Then all the poor shall eat and praise with us the LORD.
Forever we His praise repeat and trust His Word.
Praise God above, all you who keep His vows and who His mercies love!

All nations shall repent and hasten to the LORD.
All those to whom His truth is sent shall praise His Word.
The LORD is King!  His sovereign rule on high now we His people sing!

T. M. and Susie Moore

If you have found this meditation helpful, take a moment to give thanks to God. Then share what you learned with a friend. This is how the grace of God spreads (2 Cor. 4.15).

Other columns of interest: This week: Our Read Moore podcast continues our readings from the book, The Joy and Rejoicing of My Heart. Our Crosfigell teaching letter is pursuing a series on the spiritual poetry of the Celtic Revival. The ReVision column is working through a study of the role of reason in the life of faith. Click here to see all the other columns and writers available to you.

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Except as indicated, all Scriptures are taken from the New King James Version. © Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. All psalms for singing are from The Ailbe Psalter.