Matthew 18: Others First (4)
Pray Psalm 63.1, 2
O God, You are my God;
Early will I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You;
My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land
Where there is no water.
So I have looked for You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.
Sing Psalm 63.1, 2.
Nun Danken: Now Thank We All Our God
O God, You are my God, and earnestly I seek You!
My soul thirsts and my flesh in weariness now greets You!
Thus I would see Your face, with glory and pow’r arrayed,
In this Your holy place, Your beauty here displayed.
Read Matthew 18.1-17; meditate on verses 15-17.
Why does what this passage teaches matter so much?
Prepare.
1. What should we do if someone sins against us?
2. What is confrontation supposed to achieve?
Meditate.
We have seen that Jesus wants us to hate sin and to avoid causing anyone to stumble into it. Now, when we are sinned against, we need to take action. First, what are we trying to achieve? Jesus says we want the one who has sinned against us to “hear” us when we explain the offense (v. 15). Implied in the verb here is “hear with understanding”, that is, to agree, confess, repent, and seek forgiveness. A sin has been committed; a fault has ruptured the peace of the community. It may be difficult to talk to the person who has offended us, but we have to do it.
Notice, too, that we are to keep the confrontation with sin to within the context of those involved (v. 15). We are not to gossip with others about how someone has mistreated us. If we did that, we would sin against the person who has sinned against us.
But what if our brother doesn’t “hear” us? Then we need to bring in at least one other witness to confirm both that the offense has happened and that it needs to be acknowledged and repented of (v. 16). If that step fails to gain the hearing and repentance we seek, we are to “tell it to the church”—the Body of Christ. If the sinning brother will not agree when the whole congregation confronts him, then it’s clear he has no part in the congregation whatsoever. He should be put out until he is willing to confess and repent (v. 17).
This process is frequently referred to as “church discipline”, with all the negative connotations that second word entails. But sin is worse than discipline, and discipline is only the exercise of right practices to strengthen or repair that which has been weakened by neglect or misuse or sin (cf. Heb. 12.3-11). Love requires that, as we are able, we must help our neighbors escape the snares of sin.
Treasure Old and New: Matthew 13.52; Psalm 119.162
And love is really the crux of the matter.
“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life” (Prov. 4.23).
“Hear, my son, and be wise; and guide your heart in the way” (Prov. 23.19).
To be alive is to be offended. Someone is bound to do it. And quite regularly.
So our heart needs to be secured in Christ and His approval of us (if we are indeed following His Law);
thus we can be more concerned about our offensive brother’s soul, maturity, and discipling process than about seeking our heretofore unrequited justification.
Michal, Saul’s daughter and David’s first wife, found herself in just such a predicament.
Many offenses had been perpetrated against her by her husband; and she was feeling the burn.
But what she mishandled was her heart. And for that, she was ultimately punished by God.
She had, in my opinion, the right to be angry with him; but she did not guard her heart.
If she had, David might have learned something. But alas, she did not.
The ark of the LORD was being brought to the City of David.
David was excited. The whole of Israel was excited.
“So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the LORD with shouting and with the sound of the trumpet. Now as the ark of the LORD came into the City of David, Michal, Saul’s daughter, looked through a window and saw King David leaping and whirling before the LORD…” (2 Sam. 6.16).
Let’s pause for a moment to discuss, because this scene seems innocent enough as it stands. But let’s try and remember what David was like with women. And poor Michal, she felt his indiscretions deeply because she loved David (1 Sam. 18.20). So David was whirling and twirling around so vigorously that he was perhaps exposing himself maybe just a little bit. And all this activity was what Michal was spying through the window. All was going well until we learn that “Michal despised him in her heart”.
She did confront him. She did tell him she thought he was behaving foolishly: “How glorious was the king of Israel today, uncovering himself today in the eyes of the maids of his servants, as one of the base fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!” (2 Sam. 6.20) Truly, some helpful information about how to comport oneself amidst overt excitability—perhaps a little decorum for a king would be nice—Miss Manners to the rescue.
Sadly, Michal’s wisdom for David was scrambled by her deep despising of him in her heart.
David didn’t learn anything, and Michal’s heart displeased God:
“Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death” (2 Sam. 6.23).
It was a lose/lose situation.
And this is exactly what Jesus is trying to guard us against.
We may have all the right in the world to be angry or offended by another.
But we must learn how to confront others, for their misdeeds against us, without hating them in the process.
And in holiness, through the Holy Spirit’s power,
to want their growth in the Lord
to be the goal we are seeking.
(This is not to say that cruelty from others—brothers and sisters in Christ—isn’t excessively painful. It is.
More painful than anything the world can dish out. We’re expecting the one. The other we’re not.)
However:
“Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven,
for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you” (Matt. 5.12).
And “If he hears you, you have gained your brother” (Matt. 18.15).
Reflect.
1. When someone sins against you, what must you guard against?
2. How should you respond when it comes out that you have sinned against someone?
3. What is the purpose of church discipline? What should we be trying to accomplish?
The one who is healthy must go to the one who is sick. You must conduct your judgment of him privately. Make your cure easy to accept. For the words “correct him” mean nothing other than help him see his indiscretion. Tell him what you have suffered from him. John Chrysostom (344-407), The Gospel of Matthew 60.1
Pray Psalm 63.3-11.
Pray that God’s love, which reaches you every day in numerous ways, will extend through you to all the people you see. Give Him praise and thanks for His love, His Word, His salvation, and our Lord Jesus Christ.
Sing Psalm 63.3-11.
Nun Danken: Now Thank We All Our God
Your steadfast love, O LORD, than life is better to me;
so I will praise Your Name, and bless You, LORD, most truly.
My soul is richly blessed to You my hands I raise,
and open now my mouth to offer joyful praise.
By night, LORD, fill my mind with pleasant meditation.
For You have been my help as ’neath Your wings I station.
My soul clings, LORD, to You; I rest in Your Right Hand.
May all who seek my life in Your displeasure stand.
Unto the sword’s strong pow’r let our foes be delivered!
Pursue them to devour their mortal lives forever!
In God will we rejoice and glory in His grace;
but all who live by lies shall perish from His face.
T. M. and Susie Moore
If you have found this meditation helpful, take a moment to give thanks to God. Then share what you learned with a friend. This is how the grace of God spreads (2 Cor. 4.15).
Other columns of interest: This week: Our Read Moore podcast continues our readings from the book, The Joy and Rejoicing of My Heart. Our Crosfigell teaching letter is pursuing a series on the spiritual poetry of the Celtic Revival. The ReVision column is working through a study of the role of reason in the life of faith. Click here to see all the other columns and writers available to you.
And please prayerfully consider supporting The Fellowship of Ailbe with your prayers and gifts. You can contribute online, via PayPal or Anedot, or by sending a gift to The Fellowship of Ailbe, P. O. Box 8213, Essex, VT 05451.
Except as indicated, all Scriptures are taken from the New King James Version. © Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. All psalms for singing are from The Ailbe Psalter.
