The Larger Purposes of Marriage

Ephesians 5.22-33 (5)

Pray Psalm 139.1-5.
O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.

Sing Psalm 139.1-5.
(Ripley: Hallelujah, Praise Jehovah, O My Soul )
You have searched me, LORD, and known me, when I sit and when I rise;
from afar, my thoughts discerning, all my path before You lies.
Every word, before it’s spoken, You behold and know it well.
Both behind me and before me, Your sweet Presence I can tell!

Read Ephesians 5.22-33; meditate on verses 30, 31.
In what sense are we “members” of Christ’s Body?

Preparation
1. To what “body” does Paul refer?

2. What do men and women become when they marry?

Meditation
Paul reminds husbands and wives that they are “members of His body”, that is, of the Body of Christ, the Church (the NKJV phrase, “of His flesh and of His bones” is not in the best Greek texts). Why do we need to be reminded of this? Isn’t it obvious?

It is. But mentioning it here gives husbands and wives a larger focus, a stake in Christ’s own work, for He said, “I will build My Church”, and He has given spiritual gifts to every believer to help in that effort (Matt. 16.18; 1 Cor. 12.7-11). We must act in our marriages according to the design of Christ for His Body, serving and caring for and edifying one another, and drawing out one another’s spiritual gifts.

But then Paul quotes the inaugurating mandate for marriage from day 6 of the Lord’s creating work. From the beginning, marriage is established as the foundational institution for fulfilling the Lord’s will of having dominion over the world. So, by quoting this, Paul points even beyond the Church to the creation itself, everything that is within the reach of our active will (Dallas Willard). Paul directs the partners of a marriage to a higher goal, that of bringing Kingdom beauty, goodness, order, truth, and flourishing to all the gifts entrusted to them, not just their spiritual gifts, but their homes, children, property, work, neighbors, and everything else. A good marriage always has higher objectives that can only be pursued when husbands love their wives and wives submit to their husbands.

Yes, this is a great mystery.

Treasure Old and New: Matthew 13.52; Psalm 119.162
“No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God” (Lk. 9.62).

Nor are they fit for marriage.

As we have discussed before, Christianity, and life itself, moves from the inside out—from the womb to the grave. 

The Ten Commandments start first with our relationship to God, then to our parents, then on to the relationships, roles, and responsibilities that come with maturity. Marriage being one of those things. 

After marriage, submission to parents would not differ from submission to any other person (Eph. 5.21). Parents, although loved and appreciated, should no longer hold sway over what their children do. 
And parents should back off and let their beloved offspring navigate his or her own way in their spousal relationship. Of course, counsel is always nice, but should not be authoritatively rendered.

How many marriages have suffered from overbearing parents? 
How many husbands will not take a stand for their spouse? 
And crumble under the judgmental eye of their parents? 
How many wives cannot switch allegiance from their parents to their spouse? 

Unless the two will look forward, together, as one, without dragging ubiquitous parents along, 
their marriage will begin by cooking up a recipe for disaster.

God knew this. God spoke into this. God knows best.
“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 
and the two shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2.24; Eph. 5.31).

This is not a mystery. This is common sense. This is truth.
The mystery appears when we consider that: 
this human relationship is an example of Christ’s relationship to His Church, 
and our relationship to Him.

We must leave all else behind to follow Him. 
We must not drag along anything that impairs and inhibits our oneness with Him.
We must not countenance anything that takes supremacy in our hearts and minds over Him.
Jesus, our Beloved, is The One we have left all to follow (Matt. 22.37-40).

“If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I AM, there My servant will be also” (Jn. 12.26).
“I AM the light of the world. 
He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life” (Jn. 8.12).

“For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: ‘Who committed no sin, nor was deceit found in His mouth’…” (1 Pet. 2.21, 22; Is. 53.9).

“These are the ones who follow the Lamb wherever He goes…in their mouth was found no deceit, for they are without fault before the throne of God” (Rev. 14.4, 5).

Marriage—God’s plan for fellow-travelers, sanctification helpmeets—to live out the mystery of His grace. 

Reflection
1. How is Christ’s love for the Church a model for a husband?

2. How is it a model for a wife?

3. How can a husband and wife together model Christ’s care for His creation—all His creation?

The apostle, having recalled the holy requirement of marriage [that the two shall become one flesh], shows that this is illustrated also in the spiritual marriage. He not only demonstrates it but virtually shouts it out. Theodoret (393-466), Epistle to the Ephesians 5.31
  
Pray Psalm 139.23, 24.
Make sure your heart is ready for serving the Lord today, both in your home and your church.

Sing Psalm 139.23, 24.
(Ripley: Hallelujah, Praise Jehovah, O My Soul )
Search my heart, O LORD, and know me, as You only, LORD, can do.
Test my thoughts and contemplations, whether they be vain or true.
Let there be no sin in me, LORD, nothing that Your Spirit grieves.
Lead me in the righteous way, LORD, unto everlasting peace!

T. M. and Susie Moore

If you have found this meditation helpful, take a moment to give thanks to God. Then share what you learned with a friend. This is how the grace of God spreads (2 Cor. 4.15).

Other columns of interest: In our ReVision series on “The Kingdom Economy” we are looking at the role of culture in the Kingdom economy. Our Read Moore podcast is working through The Gospel of the Kingdom to learn what the Kingdom is and what it means. Our Crosfigell teaching letter begins a brief study of Coemgen of Glendalough. Check out our other excellent writers. Click here to see all the other columns and writers available to you.

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Except as indicated, all Scriptures are taken from the New King James Version. © Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. For sources of all quotations, see the weekly PDF of this study. All psalms for singing are from The Ailbe Psalter.