Ephesians 6.1-12 (2)
Pray Psalm 78.1-4.
Give ear, O my people, to my law;
Incline your ears to the words of my mouth.
I will open my mouth in a parable;
I will utter dark sayings of old,
Which we have heard and known,
And our fathers have told us.
We will not hide them from their children,
Telling to the generation to come the praises of the LORD,
And His strength and His wonderful works that He has done.
Sing Psalm 78.1-4.
(Foundation: How Firm a Foundation)
Give ear, O my people, attend to my word,
dark sayings and parables sent from the LORD,
things we have before by our Fathers been told,
which we would not dare from our children withhold.
Read Ephesians 6.1-12; meditate on verse 4.
What is the difference between training and admonition?
Preparation
1. What are parents—“fathers”—not to do?
2. What does Paul command them to do?
Meditation
For parents, one “don’t” and two “do’s”.
First, the don’t: Parents must be diligent not to provoke their children to anger. Right. Just about everything parents do at some stage of a child’s life will irritate them or make them angry. The idea here seems to concern, however, the child’s overall disposition. We don’t want our children to grow up angry. Some of them will, but parents must not be the cause. Parents are agents of grace to their children, and grace can soothe and comfort as well as nurture and edify. Wise parents will know which to apply to help their children experience the love of Jesus, even when they’re angry.
Now the do: First raise them. Be active in every phase of their lives. Understand how children develop so that your “as-you-are-going” discipling of them will be just what they need. Then, second, train them. Don’t just teach them, train them. Shape them. Show and lead them into the life of following Jesus. Understand what is appropriate for teaching and training at every age, and do your best to make sure your kids are living what they’re learning. At the same time, teach them about the admonitions of the Lord—His various forms of discipline (Heb. 12.3-11). Discipline is not pleasant, but our loving Father uses it to keep us on the Jesus Path. Kids need to know what discipline looks like, how to keep from it, and what to do when they find themselves in it.
And parents, no amount of Sunday school, children’s or youth ministries, VBS, or any other church-sponsored activity can take the place of what God calls you to do. Take up your calling gladly and consistently, and pray that your children will grow up to raise, train and admonish children of their own.
Treasure Old and New: Matthew 13.52; Psalm 119.16
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
“Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him” (Heb. 11.1, 6).
I preface my statements with these verses because raising and loving children is an important training ground for faith. Especially when we don’t see the results that we’d like to see. And when we read words such as we find in Proverbs 22.6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”, we need faith to believe them to be true.
For at this stage in our lives we have two children who love the Lord and serve Him heartily;
and two who don’t. We are the same two parents who raised all four.
Does personal responsibility weigh into the results? Absolutely.
Does each person’s heart respond differently to the wooing of the Holy Spirit? Of course.
Does every believing parent long for their child to know, love, and serve Jesus Christ? Without a doubt.
Do we need to hold onto hope and faith that someday each beloved child will know God? Yes.
Did we raise them as we should? We tried.
Did we ever provoke or anger our children? For sure.
Is God bigger and better than all our mistakes? Yes, Yes, and Yes!
Were any of us raised by perfect parents? No.
But do we love, serve, and follow Jesus? Yes.
Faith is what we must have to see us through to the end.
But are Ephesians 6.4 and Colossians 3.21 valid commands? Indeed, they are.
They are the epitome of what we should be as parents:
“And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath,
but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”
“Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”
In the same way that wives are to respect their own husbands, and husbands are to love their own wives, fathers are seemingly singled out in this command about not provoking their children. Sorry to point this out.
But honestly, there is something so special about fathers. Fathers carry much influence with their children—God has set it up this way.
But just as there is a bounteous onus on those who accept the calling to teach (Jms. 3.1); so also, that heavy burden rests on the shoulders of fathers. “Children’s children are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their father” (Prov. 17.6). So:
A misplaced or mistimed tease carries much weight in the heart of a child.
Promises unkept are painful.
Unfaithfulness to the child’s mother is monstrous.
Overbearing expectations are damaging.
Disregard for the law of God in any way, shape, or form is confusing.
But again, we all make mistakes, and none of us is perfect.
However, God is just and forgives our sins when we repent of them (1 Jn. 1.9).
And a well-placed apology to God, then to your child, is a blessing they won’t soon forget.
This relationship between a father and his child is formative in the child’s relationship to God.
Fathers must represent God’s judgment and love—His way—not in a provoking way.
In our humanity we cling to faith. Faith that He will bring all those who are His to Himself.
Our dear, beloved children, one day brought to Him by His grace and mercy.
But Lord, let us never be a stumbling block in this process (Rom. 14.13; 1 Cor. 8.9).
Parental provocateurs need not apply.
Reflection
1. What are some things that might “provoke” children to anger?
2. What are some good ways to teach children the things of the Lord?
3. How should the church work to assist parents in raising their children unto the Lord?
The duty of parents. Be not impatient; use no unreasonable severities. Deal prudently and wisely with children; convince their judgments and work upon their reason. Bring them up well; under proper and compassionate correction; and in the knowledge of the duty God requires. Matthew Henry (1662-1714), Commentary on Ephesians 6.4
Pray Psalm 78.4-7.
Pray for the families in your church, especially the children. Pray that the parents will raise their children to love Jesus and serve Him daily.
Sing Psalm 78.4-7
(Foundation: How Firm a Foundation)
The glorious deeds of our God in His might,
and all of the works He has done in our sight,
together with all of the words of His Law,
would we on ourselves and our children bestow.
LORD, let all our children arise and declare
the truth of the LORD every day, everywhere,
and set all their hopes in God’s wonderful Word,
and never forget all the works of the LORD.
T. M. and Susie Moore
If you have found this meditation helpful, take a moment to give thanks to God. Then share what you learned with a friend. This is how the grace of God spreads (2 Cor. 4.15).
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Except as indicated, all Scriptures are taken from the New King James Version. © Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. For sources of all quotations, see the weekly PDF of this study. All psalms for singing are from The Ailbe Psalter.
