Soul Friends

If you are a spiritual director to a man, do not barter his soul; be not as the blind leading the blind; do not leave him in neglect.

  - Mochuda, Rule (Irish, 7th century)

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

  - Proverbs 18.24

Mochuda mentions three duties of a soul friend. Everyone should have a soul friend, at least one, better, more. A soul friend is someone who cares as much about your soul, your spiritual life, as he does his own. He wants you to know what he wants for himself, that deep-seated joy and pleasure of knowing the Lord continually in your soul.

A soul friend should not "barter" the soul of his friend. That is, he should not, for the sake of friendship, or not ruffling feathers, or not wanting to hurt someone's feelings, neglect the hard duty of confronting anything in the soul that impedes growth in the Lord. This requires spiritual intimacy, spiritual insight, and the courage to confront sin, lethargy, or indifference whenever they appear.

A soul friend should not lead his soul friend astray by a bad example. If you are acting as a soul friend to another, then you must ever strive to set an example of zeal for spiritual things, longing for holiness, and diligence in seeking and obeying the Lord. To do otherwise is simply to encourage your soul friend to settle for something less than the upward calling of God in Christ Jesus.

And a soul friend must not neglect his friend. Meetings for accountability, encouragement, and prayer should be regular, and follow a similar agenda. It's too easy to settle into the routines of mere friendship - easy banter, catching-up on the latest news, and so forth. But a real soul friend wants to know about the spiritual life: How is your prayer life? What is the Lord teaching you from His Word? What sins are you struggling to overcome? Are you resisting the temptations that come your way? Is your vision of the reigning Lord vivid and growing?

We all need soul friends. We may have many friends - many "companions" - and still come to ruin in our souls. Someone who is truly zealous for our spiritual wellbeing, and is willing to stay the course with us through good times and bad, can be one of the greatest assets in our journey with the Lord.

Are you prepared to be such a soul friend to others?

T. M. Moore, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.