We are not alone in the spiritual life. We are members of the Body of Christ and share together in the fellowship of His suffering and resurrection glory. We need one another. We are instructed to teach one another, love one another, admonish one another, correct one another, care for one another, bear one another’s burdens, and stimulate one another to love and good works. “One-anothering” is thus an important component of the spiritual life.

If we try to live the spiritual life without depending on other believers to teach, support, direct, correct, assist, and guide us, we are certain to be in the doldrums more than is necessary.

Paul says believers are to bear one another’s burdens. Solomon taught that, like iron sharpening iron, believers need one another if they are to continue to make progress in the spiritual life. Jesus said we must love and serve one another if we would fulfill our callings in His Kingdom.

Learning to depend on other believers is both a way of depending on the Lord and of demonstrating the love we share in together in the Body of Christ.

Soul friends

The ancient Celtic Christians emphasized the importance of having what they called a soul friend. Saint Brigit is reported to have said that “A man without a soul friend is like a body without a head.”

What is a soul friend, and how can having one help you to practice the dynamic of depending on other believers?

A soul friend is someone who cares about your soul as much as you do, and for whose soul you are just as concerned. Soul friends agree to journey together in the spiritual life, sharing what they are learning or what concerns them, encouraging one another in desiring the life of faith, helping each other deny those things that get in the way of following Christ, holding one another accountable for the things they have determined to pursue, and working together to expand and extend their definition of the spiritual life.

Soul friends may be helpful in each other’s life by calling attention to areas of sin or neglect of the spiritual life. Thus they can prove to be a valuable agent of ongoing spiritual detoxification.

A soul friend, in other words, can be an extremely valuable addition to your journey in the spiritual life.

Finding a soul friend

But where do we look to find a soul friend?

Husbands and wives should be soul friends, or course, but each may wish to acquire a soul friend of the same sex to complement that most basic relationship. In seeking a soul friend look for someone you trust, respect, and will enjoy spending time with in conversation and prayer.

Soul friends get together regularly and talk freely about their struggles and victories. They study the Scriptures together and share challenges, concerns, and questions about how to keep growing in the life of faith. Soul friends pray together, and they’ll pray for one another when they are apart. They help one another set goals in the life of faith, and they hold one another accountable for their time and activities.

It can be a challenge learning to depend on other believers in this way, and everyone should be careful and prayerful about entering into a soul friend relationship. However, both the Old and New Testaments provide teaching and examples of the importance of this dynamic of the life of faith. David and Jonathan, Daniel and his friends, Jesus and the disciples, Paul and Silas, Timothy, Titus, Clement, and the others – these show us the value soul friendships can provide for helping us to get the most out of the spiritual life.

So let us take up this challenge of learning to depend on those who love us, and who depend on us to love them as well.

Next steps

Do you have a soul friend? If so, share this study with your soul friend and invite him or her to work through it with you. You can download the complete study by clicking the link below.

Additional Resources

Download this week’s study, Dynamics of the Spirtual Life.

Sign up for ViewPoint Leaders Training and start your own ViewPoint discussion group.

The spiritual life begins and ends in the vision of Christ. T. M.’s book, Be Thou My Vision, provides a helpful series of meditations on the Lord in glory. It’s available by clicking here.

Except as indicated, Scripture taken from the New King James Version. © Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.