Relational Disciplines (1)

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13.13

Inside out
Following Jesus is a call to new life, eternal life, life that grows within us as a result of the work of God’s Spirit, Who comes to dwell in all who believe. That inward life, the fruit of consistent spiritual disciplines, has abundant power to show through us – so much, in fact, that we can never exhaust the potential for newer and more fruitful experiences of the new life we have in Christ (Eph. 3.20).

The Spirit of God, working with the Word of God, works to transform us increasingly into new people, made in the image of God and being remade into the image of our Lord Jesus Christ (2 Cor. 3.12-18). This transformation occurs primarily – though not exclusively – from the inside out. As believers apply themselves to the disciplines God prescribes for bringing renewal to their minds, hearts, and consciences, they tap into the power of God’s Spirit to make them willing and able to do what is in line with the pleasure of God (Phil. 2.12, 13). From within, welling up and flowing out from their renewed and transformed souls, the followers of Christ express in words and deeds the very character of Christ.

Believers should expect that, in all their relationships, roles, and responsibilities, they will increasingly experience the presence of Christ within them, and will demonstrate the life of Christ unto the glory of God and the benefit of their neighbors.

And in the sphere of personal relationships, the guiding form of this new life will be love.

Relational disciplines
Just as there are disciplines designed to reshape and nurture our souls, so also are there disciplines which, as we master them, can direct our outward lives in ways consistent with the life of Jesus Christ. And, as the focus of spiritual disciplines is the soul, so the focus of relational disciplines is love.

Love is the greatest of all Christian virtues, and that for two reasons. First, love consummates all the other virtues of the life of faith. When we love others we are showing them patience, kindness, humility, deference, consideration, selflessness, generosity, purity, and truthfulness (1 Cor. 13.4-7). We may show each of these individual virtues by themselves, of course, but only when these are motivated and activated by love do they come with the fullness and genuineness that truly communicate.

Second, love is the greatest of Christian virtues because love most expresses the being of God, Who is love (1 Jn. 4.8). When we love others, selflessly and disinterestedly, it is not actually we who love, but Christ, Who causes His Spirit to well up within us – engaging our transformed souls – and to flow out from us in words and deeds that imitate Jesus and embody the fact that He is alive from the dead (Jn. 7.37-39).

Paul offers a succinct definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13.4-7, and I think it’s a good idea that we memorize those four verses: “Loves suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” By sticking this definition in your mind you can get your heart around it better so that love settles into your conscience as the default choice of your will in all your relationships and every encounter with other human beings.

Love in practice
But memorizing the definition of love is just a start. Maturing in love, growing in the love of Jesus Christ and showing love more consistently to others, is, as the writer of Hebrews observed, a matter of practice (Heb. 5.12-14). That is, we need to discipline the words we speak and the works we do so that, when we’re with other people, those words and works will channel the love of Christ.

And here we must be no respecters of persons. The virtue of love is not reserved only for those closest to us – our spouses, family, or friends. Believers are called to practice love with all people, especially those with whom they share faith in Jesus Christ, but also every person they encounter each day, even those who may wish them ill (Rom. 12.9, 10;  13.8; Matt. 5.44).

Loving others with the love of Jesus Christ does not come naturally to us. What comes naturally to us is loving our selves and looking out for our own interests above all. But loving others will be the defining motif of all our words and deeds as, through the use of spiritual disciplines, Christ is formed in us and the Spirit flows through us. We can help this process toward consistency and maturity by making sure we understand the demands of love, preparing ourselves daily for the opportunities to love, and taking whatever steps love may require of us as opportunities for loving others present.

Love is the great Christian virtue, and growing in love is the focus and goal of all relational disciplines.

Next steps: Are there people in your life today concerning whom you cannot say with complete confidence, “I love this person with the love of Jesus Christ”? Begin praying daily for these people, that you would be more mindful of opportunities to love and more ready to love as each situation arises. Ask a Christian friend to pray for you as you begin mastering the relational disciplines that lead to more consistent love for others.

T. M. Moore

This week’s study, Relational Disciplines, is part 4 of a 7-part series on The Disciplined Life, and is available as a free download by clicking here. We have prepared a special worksheet to help you begin getting your disciplines in proper shape for seeking the Kingdom. Write to T. M. at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. for you free PDF of the “Disciplined Life Worksheet.”

A rightly-disciplined life requires a Kingdom vision, and that vision is centered on Jesus Christ exalted. T. M. has prepared a series of meditations on the glorious vision of Christ, based on Scripture and insights from the Celtic Christian tradition. Order your copy of Be Thou My Vision by clicking here.

Sign up for ViewPoint Leaders Training, free and online, and start your own ViewPoint discussion group.

Except as indicated, Scripture taken from the New King James Version. © Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.