Relational Disciplines (3)

And Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because he also is a son of Abraham; for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost.” Luke 19.9, 10

Getting some handles on love
If we’re going to love the way Jesus loved, it will help to reduce mastering love to a set of disciplines that we can exercise, practice, and improve. By focusing on Jesus in His incarnation, exaltation, and return we can develop a growing picture of the Lord of love to guide us in seeking and advancing the rule of love each day.

We can expect to sharpen and improve this effort by following the example of Jesus and pursuing our relationships in the same way He did. This begins by our becoming more proactive in love toward the people around us, or, put another way, by becoming seekers of others in the same way Jesus came to seek and save those who are lost.

Who are the seekers?
To love with the love of Jesus is to seek others, and not simply to wait around for them to find their way to us. The contemporary notion of a “seeker-friendly” church is a distortion of Biblical teaching about how the love of Jesus comes to the lost world. The Scriptures teach that, among the lost of this world, none are seeking God because none understand their need for Him (Ps. 53.1-3). Yet in our churches we throw out everything glorious in our Christian liturgical heritage, hoping to attract “seekers” by our contemporary, relaxed style and our non-threatening messages of “love.”

It’s instructive to note how, over the past half-generation of the rise of “seeker-friendliness” in our churches, the work of God’s people in proclaiming the Good News to their neighbors, co-workers, and friends has essentially dried up. We’ve decided to wait for the “seekers” to find their way to us; but what we’re finding is that few of our neighbors are joining our churches, and little in the way ofGood News is going out to our communities. And those who have managed to find their way to us have discovered a gospel that is so compromised and watered down that it can only be described as a kind of “near Christianity” rather than the Good News of the Kingdom.

God does not expect the world to seek Him, though all are commanded to do so. Instead, He came seeking us, and in the example of His seeking, we can learn what it means to love others as Jesus did, and to love them with the kind of initiating grace that softens, piques, and attracts people to the Lord.

The disciplines of seeking
Although the practice of seeking our neighbors with the love of Christ could doubtless take many forms, I want to mention four disciplines that, if we can master them, will help us to improve daily in following the example of our Lord Jesus.

First, we must seek others with the love of Christ in prayer. If you have never mapped out your Personal Mission Field, to discover and fix in your mind the people to whom God is sending you week after week, this would be an excellent time to do so. Once you’ve identified the people you see each week, begin your day by praying for those you expect to see. Ask God to fill your heart with love for them, and to prepare you to seek them as Jesus would if He were actually doing so through you.

Praying for the people you will see each day can lead to planning how you will actually seek them. What steps might you take to reach out to the people you will see that day with the love of Jesus? By planning your time before you actually come to it, you can expect to know the wisdom of God in how you use your time, especially as you reach out to others, seeking them with the love of Jesus (Ps. 90.12).

Third, make a point to greet the people you see each day. Greet each one personally. Learn the names of the people in your Personal Mission Field, and use their names whenever you have the opportunity. Don’t wait for others to speak first. Greet people cheerily, as though you had some Good News to tell. Greet them sincerely, pausing to wait for their reply, and then replying as indicated. Think of Jesus greeting Nathaniel, the woman at the well, Zaccheus, and all the others. By initiating contact Jesus showed interest in others, and people generally respond very well when they think someone cares enough to be interested in them.

Finally, try to engage the people around you each day in personal and meaningful ways. Take an interest in them as persons. Listen to what they reveal about themselves, their families, or their concerns, and add these to your times of prayer. Comment positively on their work. At some point, once you’ve become more familiar with them, let them know that you pray for them, and encourage them to share requests with you. Be sure to follow-up on those requests as well. Look for opportunities to engage others in conversation, by asking them questions, commenting on some common interest, such as work, or seeking their opinion on a contemporary issue or situation.

Imagine yourself being “sought” in this way, say, by an elder or other shepherd in your church – to know that someone prays for you faithfully, considers and plans for ways to encourage you, greets you personally and cheerily, and listens to your needs, opinions, views, and ideas. Would that endear you to that church leader? Well, it will endear your neighbors to you as well, as you learn to seek them with love of Jesus Christ.

Next steps: Whom will you seek today with the love of Jesus? What specific steps of seeking will you take? Write your plan down, then commit it to the Lord in prayer. At the end of the day, review your work, and offer it to the Lord with thanksgiving.

T. M. Moore

This week’s study, Relational Disciplines, is part 4 of a 7-part series on The Disciplined Life, and is available as a free download by clicking here. We have prepared a special worksheet to help you begin getting your disciplines in proper shape for seeking the Kingdom. Write to T. M. at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. for you free PDF of the “Disciplined Life Worksheet.”

A rightly-disciplined life requires a Kingdom vision, and that vision is centered on Jesus Christ exalted. T. M. has prepared a series of meditations on the glorious vision of Christ, based on Scripture and insights from the Celtic Christian tradition. Order your copy of Be Thou My Vision by clicking here.

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Except as indicated, Scripture taken from the New King James Version. © Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.